Tuesday, January 31, 2006


Tuesday Stew

It's more like a salad, really. I'm really weary of politics right now, and I find it hard to pay attention. I guess the end of January is not very A.D.D. friendly. There is quite alot going on. Greenspan left his position again after raising the price of money one last time, for old time's sake. I think me and possibly Bernackey are the only ones who agree with this decision. Alito looks like he is ready to take his position on the Supreme Court. History was made today, and it's as boring now as it will be when it is mentioned in a political history class 20 years from now. Wiretapping is all the rage on Air America. I think about 75% of people don't care about the issue. Probably because they aren't worried about the President sitting in the Oval Office, listening to their conversation. Some are offended by the principle of the Executive Branch taking the authority upon themselves to supercede checks and balances to violate Americans' right to privacy, as it is laid out in Amendment X of the Constitution. Too bad, I don't like how the judicial branch constantly oversteps their position to enact legislational decisions that should be made by society in general. So we're even. We can protect Americans, and you can protect Infanticide. Kerry was quite the character, riding in from Davos calling for a filibuster only to fail miserably. Yep, you're even more irrelevant now than you were two years ago. Sorry, dude. And finally, we had a State of the Union address. I had a class, so I didn't get to see it, but I heard from a very reliable source that there was much rejoicing when President Bush mentioned that his Social Security solution was shot down. To which the President responded that the problem hasn't gone away, and that we need to reach a bi-partisan solution. Did you hear them cheer Mr. Bush? They were cheering for obstructionism. A party that rejoices in their ability to keep you from effectively leading the country will never be there for bipartisan support, no matter how many times you beg them to. They weren't cheering because Social Security was better, or even that a bad idea had been rejected. They were cheering because they stopped you from fixing it. This is why people don't pay attention to politics in this country. You're a bunch of 5th graders on the playground. "Red Rover, Red Rover, Call Social Security on over." Then all the Democrats hold hands and block anything with the words "Social Security" in it. I have a headache, and A.D.D., so that's it for today.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006


China, Google and World Plights

So much is going on right now, but I really don't care about most of it. Canadia put in a new Conservative PM, the Palestinians put Hamas in charge, and the Alito nomination is underway. I guess the story I find most interesting is Google's new presence in China. The media is trying to drum up bad feelings towards Google by saying that it is going participate in censorship to allow themselves to have a stake in China. I don't really have a problem with this. If you don't go along with the PRC, then there will be no Google in China. Despite China's best efforts, if there is one thing you can't do to the internet, it is censor it. The internet, and tools like Google and blogs hold the key to the Chinese's future as a free people. Google will only serve to expand communication in China. The Chinese government continues to fan the fires of free speech and it is only a matter of time before it consumes them. So I'm not angry with Google taking the next step in the erosionary process. Besides, I don't think Americans in general care about the rest of the world's plights as much as they used to. We just saved a few hundred thousand lives by ousting Saddam Hussein and no one really seems to care. Oh, sure they'll throw that out there when they are looking to defend the decision, but it doesn't really move people. The excuse? There are suffering people everywhere, why should I care about the Kurds. It's really a plight overload that hit us in the Vietnam Era that caused us to reject compassion for anyone not living in the United States. A bus turns over in Michigan, kills a handicapped woman, you'll listen to the story over and over for days and probably demand an investigation. If a bus turns over in Bahrain and kills 50 people, we wonder where Bahrain is before changing the channel. I'm tired of hearing about plights, it seems like every country has one. What, China? You say you are suffering under the opressive rule of a Communist dictatorship? Rise up already, jeez. I know you've only got around 1.3 Billion people and there are quite a few people working for the PRC, but if it's really that bad, quit crying to us about it and throw yourselves into revolution. I thought you Communists were supposed to be good at uniting and stuff. Whatever, you chose not to support Chiang Kai Shek just because the Kuomintang was a little corrupt, now you have to deal with it. If you're ever wondering what might have been if you would have simply let the Nationalists stay in power, well just look at Taiwan. Oh yeah, I went there.

Friday, January 20, 2006


So Ronery

North Korea used to have it all. Everyone thought that they had nukes, and the entire world was at their feet begging for mercy. Kim Jong Il laid his little head on his pillow every night knowing that he was the center of a lot of attention. Then along comes Iran, with a leader who's name no one can even pronounce, announcing that not only are they developing nuclear weapons, but they want to destroy Israel with them. All of a sudden everyone's focus changes. Iran is the new dog in town. NK had the attitude of an English Bulldog. The little thing could probably take a chunk out of your leg, but you could recover pretty easily and the dog would be put down in no time. Iran is more comparable to the Rottweiler belonging to that Mexican gangster who lives down the street, barking, frothing and charging that all to frail chain link fence that you are standing right next to. Hopefully NK doesn't decide to act out on it's jealousy and try to become relevant again by bombing somebody. A war in East Asia would only further embolden Iran's crazy talk. If the U.S. is spread to thin to counter Iran's threats, then what is the world left with? "You can't come play at our soccer game!" That's about it. Or Israel could kick their butts, either one would work, I'm sure.

Thursday, January 19, 2006


Bin Laden Thinks You're An Idiot

After we've battered Al-Qaeda, and dismantled his network of terrorists, Osama has finally decided to let us have it, or so he says. But he won't if we all tell the next pollster who calls us that we don't support the war in Iraq. That's right, public support for the withdrawl of troops from Iraq is the only thing that can save us now, because Osama has had it already. He looked serious in that video, if he was lying he probably would have not been able to keep a straight face like he did. So he is going to hit us hard with bio and nuclear weapons if we don't accept his truce. And we don't negotiate with terrorists, so we'd better be afraid now. Methinks you'd have to be a Liberal to fall for this one. I can't wait to see how many do.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006


Naked Truth?

This article is short, which is good because you may need to read it 2 or 3 times to completely comprehend it. Apparently German protestants are having a little bit of trouble making their message appeal to the younger generation. Their solution? The youth group put together a nude calendar. To clarify, female members of the church youth group posed nude for a calendar as an outreach to the younger generation. As you can expect, it is totally justified in their minds. The Bible, they say, is filled with eroticism, and it doesn't say that you are forbidden to show yourself nude. Evidently the multidude of passages concerning sexual immorality, lust and tempting your fellow man don't translate the same way in German. Furthermore, when Jesus said to share the good news of his salvation with the world, I don't think having young Christian girls posing nude as the prostitute Rahab in calendars to be passed out to her peers, is exactly what he had in mind. But then, who am I to speak for God? Maybe I should be looking at things in the way that Nuremberg pastor Bernd Grasser does:

"It's just wonderful when teenagers commit themselves with their hair and their skin to the bible."

You shall love the Lord your God with all your Heart, Soul, and Private Parts... Something about that just doesn't sound right. But, then again, I don't live in Germany.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006


The War to Begin All Wars

So what do we do about Iran. They are blatantly ignoring everyone's demands that they stop creating nuclear weapons. America is really not in a position to do anything about it, the rest of the world isn't going to be interested in cutting off the planet's fourth largest supply of oil to even try and threaten them with a sanction. If they do get weapons, we have the power to make their country glow in the dark for quite some time, but that would require truly unprescendented pre-emptive action that even the U.S. would have a hard time swallowing, because all Iran needs is one bomb to obliterate Israel. Unlike the Russians, the Iranian government doesn't really give a crap about the loss of innocent human life and wouldn't hesitate to set off a nuclear war. So how does it play out? I'll tell you. When Sharon finally dies, a successor who has the courage to stand up to the United States and the rest of the world will be named just in time to utilize Israel's overwhelming capability to turn the entire country of Iran into dust. Then, in the following twenty years, the world will begin to see the true meaning of the phrase "Middle Eastern Conflict", as many more Muslims begin to side with radical clerics who now can back up what they have been saying all along, that Israel is evil and is the mortal enemy of Islam and humanity. The strength of terrorist groups in the region will increase exponentially, and Bush's "road map to peace," will end up in a garbage can at a gas station near the White House. If I'm right about anything, I sure hope it's not this. Maybe Russia should stop selling nuclear fuel to Iran now. Just a thought.

Monday, January 16, 2006


Monday Stew

It's Monday again, and that means it's time for another Monday Stew. Ingredients? Start with a bowl of politics, and drown it with anything you can find to get rid of the bitter taste, then sprinkle in a little bit of flavor here and there to hide the concoctions complete lack of insight, wit and wisdom. First to be thrown in the pot is Iran. How do you solve a problem like Iran. I might conquer that one later. For now, just trust me on this one. It is a problem. You can tell because our gas prices are rising. Chile just elected a female president. Liberia just elected a female president. A recent poll shows that only 66 percent of black people say significant progress has been made towards racism since Dr. King gave his speech during the days of segregation. The other 44 continue to be shackled in intellectual slavery by their masters on the Left. Jim Carrey is happier since he cut back on caffiene. I'd say thats the end of his career right there, but who am I? According to the Vatican, Pope Benedict has a habit of sneaking into his old room where he lived as a Cardinal and spending a couple hours in there. No one knows exactly what he is doing. Except for me. He is holding conference calls with Nazi parties from around the world. He is doing it in absolute secrecy. I was lucky enough to be a part of his last one. I wouldn't be divulging this information if I thought anyone actually read this blog. He went on and on about the master race, and world domination. Something about a war and a cleansing. Turns out he's a big fan of Prussian Blue. He hides secret messages inside these almost too unseeming Jesus Inspirational Sports Statues and sends them to operatives in different parts of the world. It's all in Dan Brown's new book, to be released next month. "How the Pope Stole Christmas, and Then Proceeded to Pursue His Secret Plans of Global Domination." They say everything in it is historically accurate. Kind of like the Monday Stew. John Trovolta is being attacked by Muslim Imams for his suggestive dance moves in recent films such as "Grease" and "Saturday Night Fever." I guess they are still a little behind over there. Some Asian solved the Rubix Cube in 11.3 seconds. People are still playing witht those things? I can solve it in half a second, as long as I'm the first one who gets to use it out of the box. German scientists have decided that plants account for at least thirty of the Methane gasses in the atmosphere. These are global warming types of gasses. So it's okay to drive SUV's around, as long as you cut down enough trees. I knew deforestation was good for something. Peruvian president Alejandro Toledo accused Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez of trying to destabilize the region, after Chavez called him a George W. Bush "copycat". I didn't even know Venezuelans had a word for copycat. Luara Bush said she wants Condi Rice to be president in 2008. In an unrelated story Condi Rice said she never wants to be president and for Republicans to stop asking. Leave her alone boys. I know she is a woman, and she is black. That makes her a double minority, to Hillary's single minority status. But that's really the only reason we want her to run for President, and it's no wonder she doesn't want any part of it. A young soldier went AWOL because he didn't want to be part of any killing. That was 36 years ago, and they just caught him thanks to a tip from an apparently disgruntled relative. Hillary Clinton used the word "Plantation" during a speech at a Martin Luther King celebration. But it's okay because she is a Democrat. She said the House of Representatives was being run like a plantation when she was asked what distinguishes Democrats from Republicans right now. Way to lean to the center, Miss Moderate. It's good to see that you can actually apply yourself to the issues of the day, instead of just saying whatever you can to make the black people clap for you. That will come handy during your fall from grace as the four-year front runner of the '08 Presidential elections. Chinese villagers led yet another demonstration. It was quickly put down with electric batons and automatic firearms, but the CCP's relevance is starting to begin it's slow decline. An Italian study found that couples with TV's in their bedrooms have sex half as much as couples without. Thanks Italy, now we can finally put this issue to rest. And finally, to finish off the Stew, Eminem "Shocked the World" yesterday by marrying his ex-wife. I think the real shocker here is that his ex-wife married Eminem. After all the stuff he has written about her, I'd be sure to stay as far away from him as possible if I were her. I guess they won't spend too much time by the fire listening to his works such as "Kill You" and "Kim" about him violently murdering her, reminiscing abouther subsequent suicide attempts. He has already said that he doesn't allow his daughter to listen to his music. I guess he feels it's not appropriate for his children. Who gives a crap about yours? As long as they are buying his albums.

F--- your wife,
F--- your kids,
F--- your family,
I'll sh-t on you .

(Lyrics to Sh-t on You, by Eminem, renowned wordsmith.)

Here's to a long lasting marriage between him and his dearly beloved.

Friday, January 13, 2006


Affirmative Disciplanary Action?

It appears that black children in Seattle public schools are 2.6 times more likely to be expelled or suspended than white students. This, of course, is being blamed on racism. Some people have evidently gotten so used to the herd of elephants in the room that they no longer even notice them. I am going to go out on a limb and say there is a problem with black culture in today's society. The problem is in no way limited to the black community, but it seems to me that it is quite rampant, at least among the poorer black communities. How many young black boys have grown up without a father, and sought role models in street gangs. How many young black girls allow themselves to be used by men, just as their mothers have, only to raise young girls of their own who will undoubtedly fall into the same trap. Some call it poverty, and blame it on the Bush administration. It is poverty, indeed, but it is not going to be alleviated by any administration. This type of poverty isn't cured by cash. Take gansta rappers for examples. Pull them off the street, give them more cash than they can imagine, and their old problems are only amplified by their wealth. More women to take advantage of, more drugs, more of an excess in whatever vice they can indulge themselves in. Remember Biggie Smalls, Tupac Shakur, and others killed in the east/west coast gangsta rap rivalries? Dysfunction isn't caused by a lack of money. Economic poverty is not at the root of the problem. In truth it is more of a side effect. If you can get to the root of the problem, then poverty will soon be history. But as long as young men go through their early years, looking up to their celebrity rap star idols and gang leaders who only perpetuate the type of mindset that binds them to a life outside of lawfulness, decency and virtue, they will continue to face more run-ins with disciplanarians on their school campus. Maybe it's time to stop being so colorblind, and start addressing issues as a society that are long overdue for discussion. Then we can finally come up with answers, help our fellow Americans out of a bind, and stave off an infection that is spreading throughout every community in America. But, maybe I'm just a racist Conservative for thinking these kinds of things through.

Thursday, January 12, 2006


A Lesson to Us All.

Well, it finally happened. They tried to warn us, but we didn't listen. Evidently, global warming has caused a fungus that lives on the skin of Costa Rican Harlequin frogs to turn toxic and drive those frogs into extinction. Apparently the average temperature has gone up 3/8 of one percent, allowing this fungus to wipe out these frogs. This is proven because the Harlequin frogs in the lowlands, where it is considerably warmer haven't gone extinct. In our infinite apathy, we ignored all of the warning signs and now frogs are dying. Oh why didn't we heed their warnings. Global warming has killed these precious creatures. Deforestation may have something to do with it as well, they don't really know. I guess clear cutting the forests does not have nearly as great an impact on the Costa Rican environment as your SUV does. Each time you fill your Chevy Tahoe up at the pump, a fungus kills a froggie. If you'd only start driving a Toyota Prius like all of the socially conscious celebrities do, then the frogs would be able dance and sing and play like nature intended, because nature doesn't destroy life, it creates it. Oh sure, Darwin may have been on to something with that whole bit on natural selection, but I'm pretty sure that stopped happening after we discovered oil. Simply by the merit of our existence, other creatures are forced into existence. As ecologist Alan Pounds puts it:

"You can't keep changing ecosystems and expect our own life support system to be viable."

That's right. Our life support system isn't viable. Without those frogs, the delicate balance will be upset, and Earth's ecosystem will collapse. We'll have to flee to Mars and live inside plastic domes. I bet then we'll all wish we had listened to Mr. Pounds. You'll see. We'll all be sorry. They were important frogs, they ate the bugs which carried diseases to the eagles who weave vines and sticks in the upper atmoshpere to form our O-zone layer which has been blessed by the Great Spirit. Now the eagles will die, and the Great Spirit is gonna be pretty mad, and then what are we going to do? If you don't want this to happen you need to act now and call you congressman. Tell him/her to vote yes for the Great Spirit initiative which bans all pollution that is caused by Republicans. That way we can have a cleaner, greener tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Music Depreciation

British researchers have conducted a study and have found that young kids do not seriously appreciate music anymore. According to their study, listeners are apathetic, and do not make emotional connections to music because they have such easy access to it. They can download, swap and store more songs than they will ever listen to and it is nothing but a commodity to them. The study says that listeners just don't make an emotional connection to music anymore because it's so easy to obtain.

"In the 19th century, music was seen as a highly valued treasure with fundamental and near-mystical powers of human communication," says Adrian North, leader of the study.

In the 19th century, Mr. North, music required a full orchestra to play. It required complicated sheet music, and had enough going on in it to keep people's attention. Most songwriters today blend a catchy, borderline annoying melody with meaningless lyrics to compensate for the repetetive "Verse, Chorus, Verse, Verse, Chorus, Bridge, Chorus, Ending" structure that all of today's music seems to adhere to. Musicians have taken the simple structure of Blues music, which was inteded for on-the-spot live improvisation, and they have applied it to the entire music industry, omitting the creativity needed to captivate people in the way that music used to be able to do. Anyone who knows a few power chords, or looks good on stage can be a musical preformer if they are lucky enough to be "discovered". Music can still be moving and meaningful, impressive and inspiring, or whatever it is you want it to be, but you have to have the patience to sift through the loads of crap to find it. It's still out there, in various forms. You just won't find it on MTV.

Here are some examples of what I am talking about:
Magic Elf- New York
The Darkness- London
Enter The Haggis- Ontario

Tuesday, January 10, 2006


...So Go Home.

Harry Belafonte went to Venezuela and spoke to President Hugo Chavez on national television, saying that President George W. Bush is the greatest tyrant and greatest terrorist, and that millions of Americans support Chavez's "revolution". I have to hand it to Belafonte, if you can go to Venezuela and out-shrill Hugo freaking Chavez, then you are very good at what you do. For an American to surpass Chavez at spewing Anti-American rhetoric in Venezuela, sends a clear message to the rest of the world: whatever it is that you do best, we can kick your butt at it. I just wonder what goes through Belafonte's head when he wakes up the next morning and finds himself in bed with Hugo Chavez. Is it "daylight come and me wanna go home", or does he stay awhile to chat about calypso music and crimes against humanity? Meanwhile the U.N. is trying to find ways to distance itself from Belafonte's statements. UNICEF has informed us that he was speaking as a private citizen when he said those things, and not as a U.N. ambassador. I guess that clears things up. I think in the future, he should use a different accent for his "U.N. voice" so that we can avoid this kind of confusion. Maybe if he used a really bad british accent, or the U.N. could get him an electronic voice modulator, so that we know for sure when he is speaking as a private citizen and when he is saying things that the U.N. agrees with. I almost think that would be a standard procedure when you hire loudmouth celebrities whom you disagree with as your political representatives. Otherwise people might get the wrong idea that you recruited them to represent you ideologically, rather than just as a high-profile set of teeth to rattle off your press releases. Seriously, when the bannana boat guy speaks, the whole world listens, so firing him over one feau paux would be a huge marr on the U.N.'s spotless record of good judgement calls and character evaluation.

Monday, January 09, 2006


Monday Stew

It's January the 9th, and it seems like so far, the only thing that's new is the year. Andrea Yates is pleading insanity, Cheney is making visits to the hospital, a few Democrats are trying to impeach president Bush, Apple is releasing new gadgets to dazzle customers. Personally, I'm bored of being dazzled. Howard Stern's radio show will be raunchier than ever, earning him an impressive load of free advertising courtesy of the press and media. Pink got married in Costa Rica, Afghanistan's Karzai Invites Contact with Taliban's Mullah Omar, God has died in Europe and no one showed up for the funeral, and Democrats have accused the Republicans of Capitalist tactics. So happy same old year to you and your kin, as we look forward to 360 more days of Democrats vs. Republicans, drawn out trials of scumbags like David Ludwig, and a whole slew of really stupid Taco Bell commercials. Meanwhile I will be on the edge of my seat to see if Ariel Sharon will make it out of his coma. Either way, I wouldn't bet on peace in the Middle East just yet. On the subject of those darn Jews and all of their lies, apparently some people still believed that the Holocaust actually happened. Fortunately for those of us who want a clear perspective on world history, Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and several of his top officials have decided to set the record straight. The Holocaust was a myth. Thanks Iran, now get back to your enriched uranium projects. Otherwise the country of Iran might go dark in the absence of nuclear power plants, since oil is in short supply over there, and you are concerned about the environment and stuff. I'm sure glad you haven't thought of constructing a nuclear arsenal funded entirely by the European's pathetic attempts to appease you, because that would be scary. In other news, young teens are happier in their relationships when they don't have sex. There are still idiots to be found in California, and in a new earth-shattering ruling, mooning has been deemed legal in the state of Maryland. Apparently it's only indecent exposure if your genitals can be seen. Thanks to this ruling, Frugal male Maryland residents can now limit their entire outfit to a single, modestly placed tube sock. I'll tack this on the growing list of reasons that make me glad to live on the opposite side of the country from Maryland.