Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Oh, Stop It!

Homosexuality is illegal in the UAE. A bunch of guys were arrested recently for dressing in women's clothing. The foreigners are going to be deported, and the Emeratis will be sent to prison. While prison seems like a good place to experience homosexuality, Emeratis can opt for hormonal treatment to shorten their sentence if they'd like. The United States apparently has a problem with this and has condemned the arrests and the hormonal treatment. What message does this send to the Arab world? It probably goes something like this. "Regardless of how you treat your women, if you mess with a gay man it is our business to ensure that you desist, because we are a godless society and we want to make sure your societies become just as godless." History has shown us that if there is anything that Arabs hate more than a society that they perceive as godless, it's a society that tries to force them to become what they perceive as godless. To be fair, the UAE treats women very well for an Arab nation, but plenty of our "allies" (oil suppliers) over there don't and we consistently turn our heads away from the problem. While I don't think that arresting gay people makes any sense at all, I do wonder if it is worth fueling al-qaeda recruitment centers and arming fanatically vocal religious leaders just to make a public statement that will be effectively ignored by Dubai. If we can look away from the brutal treatment of women in the MidEast to avoid driving up oil prices, why can't we tolerate hormones being made available to homosexuals to avoid driving up our casualties in Iraq.

Monday, November 28, 2005


Monday Stew

It's been awhile since I've cooked up a big pot of Monday Stew, so here goes nothin'. Alot of stuff concerning outer space is hitting the press. China is shooting to put a man on the moon by 2020 and they are looking to create their own space station, setting the foundation for the eventual showdown between China and the United States that will take place in outer space featuring Chinese and American space fighters and bombers targeting each other's satellites. Unless, of course, the Canadians have anything to say about it. Some Canadian groups are looking to ban any country from having weapons in outer space. Apparently they are concerned that the Bush Administration is looking to attack extra-terrestrials that supposedly approach Earth regularly with whom the United States is currently undergoing diplomatic relations. At the same time the Catholic Church is dealing with the hard-hitting questions pertaining to the baptism and ordination of these extra-terrestrials. I'm not making this stuff up. So what is Europe doing to keep up with this international space race? They're staying in bed, of course. Back on Earth, we don't even have flying cars yet, but I guess Bose has created a suspension system that allows cars to jump over obstacles and potholes. I guess it's worth the extra five grand if you can afford it. I, for one, just steer around the potholes. The Pentagon has increased the spying capabilities of the defense department. Some congressmen are upset that they weren't informed, or allowed to vote. After all, politicizing intelligence gathering is always a good strategy. That way you can call your sitting president a liar when it fails. Speaking of Mr. Bush, he recently proposed that the United States take a new strategy against illegal immigration. That's a good idea, considering the fact that the current strategy of not having a strategy isn't really that effective at dettering illegal immigration. So what has been happening in Europe? France appears to be past it's rioting phase and is returing to normal, with homeless people dying in the streets and hotels being fined for fixing prices in an attempt to actually turn a profit in France, a country that practically forbids such a practice with mandatory six-week long paid vacations and 35 hour work weeks. Impovershed minorty groups in French no-go zones have decided that being labeled as "equal" in French society is a form of racism as they wind up being ignored. Naughty children just want attention, so they will continue to throw rocks and molotov cocktails at French police until something is done. Either go the American route and give them money and special treatment, or open up your economy to encourage this thing called employment, which you may have heard of before, as it is another thing that the United States does much better than you. French unemployment consistently hovers around ten percent, which also happens to be it's alcoholism rate. 72 percent of Frogs surveyed say that President Jack is "weak." What is France planning to do about all of this? Well, this week they are planning on lowering the iPod tax. Yeah, good luck with all of that. I can't wait to see how it all turns out. In other news, Singapore is about to hang a Vietnamese guy from Australia who was caught with heroin on his person. They are considering allowing his mother to give him a hug before they kill him. I'd say Singapore is probably winning it's war on drugs.

Saturday, November 19, 2005


Big Dumb Actor

"America is dumb, it's like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you, aggressive."

-Johnny Depp, acclaimed actor for several movies including Pirates of the Carribean and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Wednesday, September 3, 2003.

"I went there (to France) to live because it seemed so simple. Now it's anything but. I don't know how they'll recover from this."

-Johnny Depp, acclaimed actor for several movies including Pirates of the Carribean and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Friday, November 18, 2005.

I guess big dumb puppies are okay once caniving little kitty cats can no longer keep hoodlums from lighting your Mercedez-Benz on fire. Enough said? Not hardly.