Tuesday, January 10, 2006


...So Go Home.

Harry Belafonte went to Venezuela and spoke to President Hugo Chavez on national television, saying that President George W. Bush is the greatest tyrant and greatest terrorist, and that millions of Americans support Chavez's "revolution". I have to hand it to Belafonte, if you can go to Venezuela and out-shrill Hugo freaking Chavez, then you are very good at what you do. For an American to surpass Chavez at spewing Anti-American rhetoric in Venezuela, sends a clear message to the rest of the world: whatever it is that you do best, we can kick your butt at it. I just wonder what goes through Belafonte's head when he wakes up the next morning and finds himself in bed with Hugo Chavez. Is it "daylight come and me wanna go home", or does he stay awhile to chat about calypso music and crimes against humanity? Meanwhile the U.N. is trying to find ways to distance itself from Belafonte's statements. UNICEF has informed us that he was speaking as a private citizen when he said those things, and not as a U.N. ambassador. I guess that clears things up. I think in the future, he should use a different accent for his "U.N. voice" so that we can avoid this kind of confusion. Maybe if he used a really bad british accent, or the U.N. could get him an electronic voice modulator, so that we know for sure when he is speaking as a private citizen and when he is saying things that the U.N. agrees with. I almost think that would be a standard procedure when you hire loudmouth celebrities whom you disagree with as your political representatives. Otherwise people might get the wrong idea that you recruited them to represent you ideologically, rather than just as a high-profile set of teeth to rattle off your press releases. Seriously, when the bannana boat guy speaks, the whole world listens, so firing him over one feau paux would be a huge marr on the U.N.'s spotless record of good judgement calls and character evaluation.

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