Wednesday, December 07, 2005


Oh, and Merry Christmas

Not much happened today. I finally found this story of an 83 year old woman who had five properties and was worth a grand total of $1 million after it was all liquidated. It was all liquidated because she owed about $1.8 million to her village officials who were issuing a $1000 fine every day for an apparently long time. Why the 1.8 million dollar fine? Her yard was overgrown. She's 83, she is now penniless, and as far as I can tell her yard (which is on property that can't be liquidated because it's homesteaded) is still overgrown. Way to go Tequesta, Florida. You've earned today's "God Bless America" Award. Her yard is an eyesore, and it has snakes. That's definately a good reason to devote a substantial portion of your time towards financially destroying an 83 year old woman. A special tip of the hat to you, mayor Jim Humpage, for making Tequesta the type of place where any sub-decent, elitest, self-absorbed American would dream of living.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005


Fuzzy Logic

Certain law schools are against the military's don't ask don't tell policy on homosexuality. In protest they banned recruiters from their campus. In accordance to the Solomon Act, they lost millions in federal funding. They proceeded to sue, feeling like their 1st amendment right to free speech had been violated. The Supreme Court justices basically argued that they are free to say whatever they want, and witholding funds as a consequence is not a violation of any right. What marks this scenario as memorable is that at long last, Liberals have actually used the 1st amendment in an attempt to legally restrict free speech. They want to silence the military, and the voices they disagree with by using their right to "free speech" as a defense, and it makes perfect sense to them. Fortunately, the Supreme Court isn't buying it, and it looks like they are going to have to allow recruiters on their campus. Of course, they could forfeit the money and continue their protest, but free speech just isn't the same when it bears consequences. Besides, without government funding, who is going to pay all the legal fees they've racked up by taking their case this far, only to lose it in the final stretch. Pay up America, their stance supression of homosexual's rights isn't that important to them.

Monday, December 05, 2005


Monday Stew

Britain is allowing "Civil Partnerships" for gay couples. Elton John immediately jumped on that. The EU's budget apparently hit new Eastern European member countries pretty hard. I guess they were expecting more of a handout from the magical western money faries. I don't know where they got that idea. Back in the U.S., Indianapolis is ruling the country, and the University of Reggie Bush is bearing it's teeth at the Longhorns after wiping the floor with its cross-town rivals. Besides football, little else has happened. The most bogus charges against Tom Delay have been dropped and it looks like his troubles are just beginning. Abdel Hamden, a muslim and owner of a liquor store in Oakland has had his shop vandalized and set on fire. Shortly after he was kidnapped, and now more of his stuff has been looted. No word if this most recent incident was perpetrated by the same Muslim Brotherhood that has been troubling him over the last week, but I have a hunch that this guy's troubles are also just beginning. It looks like we get to deal with Hugo Chavez for another eight years, unless he decides to extend term limits, in which case it will be longer. Chavez has all the charm of a flatulent Chihuahua, and it showed in the overwhelming support he recieved from the less than 25% of Venezuelan voters that actually showed up to vote. The death toll due to homicides in my home state of California for 2004 was 2,394 in case you were curious. World Net Daily compared it to 904 deaths in the same year for coalition forces in Iraq. There are alot more people on the streets of Oakland and central Los Angeles than there are coalition forces in Iraq, but it's a worthy comparison nonetheless. Saddam Hussein says he's not afraid of being executed. See? The death penalty is a lousy deterrent for brutal totalitarian dictators. I say lock him up in a room with Clay Aiken's debut album, Measure of a Man, running nonstop until he dies of natural causes. Force him to wear pink pantyhose an a leather tunic, then set up a webcam that is broadcast on a CIA sponsored television station all over the Middle East and you'll have your effective deterrent, and maybe a new hit reality series that is just tasteless enough to be picked up by FOX. Kara-Beth Borden and double-murderer Ludwig's MySpace accounts are either replaced or inaccessible now, so you can't go flame them and their friends with beligerent comments, but her profile can still be seen here. Her number one interest? "JESUS!!" The Neorest toilet from Toto is out on the market now. It boasts remote-controlled seat temperature and bidet functions, and the lid automatically lifts up on your approach. So far, sales of the $5000 toilet have been lackluster and they have mostly been going to Europeans and the elderly. That's because it doesn't have the one thing any new device needs to succeed, a Broadband connection. If I am going to flush 5 G's down the toilet, I want to be able to do it from anywhere in the world. Even a USB port would have done the trick, but it looks like we'll have to wait a little while for that luxury yet.

Thursday, December 01, 2005


Smell With Your Nose, Not With Your Hands.

I've been looking around and I've noticed that nothing is happening today. Who wants to talk about the EU's increasing interest rates? What difference does it make if the just found the Avian bird flu in California? A pack of crazed squirrels killed a dog out of desperation due to a pinecone shortage? Whoop-dee-do. That probably happens all the time, and I'm sure it will eventually be blamed on America, global warming, and the Bush Administration. Not to mention Dick Cheney, Halliburton, the CIA and Tom Delay. Instead of going into all of that, I'd like to issue this friendly reminder to my fellow Americans to not stop and pick the flowers. It is illegal to pick some flowers and you may go to jail. Especially if those flowers are orchids and you are selling them on e-Bay. If you must pick a flower make sure you first identify it and call your local EPA chapter and confirm that the flower is not one of an illegal variety and that you are within the bounds of the law in plucking the flower and perhaps selling it for personal revenue. If you get caught plucking the wrong kind of flower, I'd recommend you just plead insanity. Maybe you could escape the maximum 1 year prison sentence, and spend six-months in a mental institution instead. Once you are "cured" of your maniacal desire to pick flowers, you will be released and allowed to walk among the rest of us. While some parents may be wary of living on the same block as a registered flower offender, most of us will never know of your dark, cheery passion and you'll be treated like a normal citizen. You may have trouble getting work at OSH or Home Depot, but as long as you can keep your hands out of Mrs. Pettinger's daisy garden, you'll be able to live a relatively normal life, because that's what makes America great... second chances.