Monday, November 28, 2005


Monday Stew

It's been awhile since I've cooked up a big pot of Monday Stew, so here goes nothin'. Alot of stuff concerning outer space is hitting the press. China is shooting to put a man on the moon by 2020 and they are looking to create their own space station, setting the foundation for the eventual showdown between China and the United States that will take place in outer space featuring Chinese and American space fighters and bombers targeting each other's satellites. Unless, of course, the Canadians have anything to say about it. Some Canadian groups are looking to ban any country from having weapons in outer space. Apparently they are concerned that the Bush Administration is looking to attack extra-terrestrials that supposedly approach Earth regularly with whom the United States is currently undergoing diplomatic relations. At the same time the Catholic Church is dealing with the hard-hitting questions pertaining to the baptism and ordination of these extra-terrestrials. I'm not making this stuff up. So what is Europe doing to keep up with this international space race? They're staying in bed, of course. Back on Earth, we don't even have flying cars yet, but I guess Bose has created a suspension system that allows cars to jump over obstacles and potholes. I guess it's worth the extra five grand if you can afford it. I, for one, just steer around the potholes. The Pentagon has increased the spying capabilities of the defense department. Some congressmen are upset that they weren't informed, or allowed to vote. After all, politicizing intelligence gathering is always a good strategy. That way you can call your sitting president a liar when it fails. Speaking of Mr. Bush, he recently proposed that the United States take a new strategy against illegal immigration. That's a good idea, considering the fact that the current strategy of not having a strategy isn't really that effective at dettering illegal immigration. So what has been happening in Europe? France appears to be past it's rioting phase and is returing to normal, with homeless people dying in the streets and hotels being fined for fixing prices in an attempt to actually turn a profit in France, a country that practically forbids such a practice with mandatory six-week long paid vacations and 35 hour work weeks. Impovershed minorty groups in French no-go zones have decided that being labeled as "equal" in French society is a form of racism as they wind up being ignored. Naughty children just want attention, so they will continue to throw rocks and molotov cocktails at French police until something is done. Either go the American route and give them money and special treatment, or open up your economy to encourage this thing called employment, which you may have heard of before, as it is another thing that the United States does much better than you. French unemployment consistently hovers around ten percent, which also happens to be it's alcoholism rate. 72 percent of Frogs surveyed say that President Jack is "weak." What is France planning to do about all of this? Well, this week they are planning on lowering the iPod tax. Yeah, good luck with all of that. I can't wait to see how it all turns out. In other news, Singapore is about to hang a Vietnamese guy from Australia who was caught with heroin on his person. They are considering allowing his mother to give him a hug before they kill him. I'd say Singapore is probably winning it's war on drugs.

Check out a funny site dedicated to the absurdity and satire nature of saying “It’s All George Bush’s Fault!"

I hope that you don't think this is spam. I really do think that you'd appreciate a site like this since we share the same idealogy.

Notta Libb
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