Monday, September 19, 2005


Monday Stew

Monday, September 19. We're still cleaning up after Hurricane Katrina. Apparently the politically correct thing to do is to rebuild the city, even though nature will eventually win this one and someday you'll be able to vaction on the scenic Lake New Orleans. For right now we will have a city there. They've postponed the re-entry for right now, and have decided to let nature stop dumping water into the lake before putting everyone back in. After Rita passes through, they'll be plenty of work to do. John Schwab is planning on moving back in as soon as he can. "I'll probably have to look for a job in construction," he says. "That's about the only thing around." At least you'll have job security. You could start a very succesful business in hurricane relief. Speaking of hurricanes, Angela Merkel took Schroeder on in Germany's last election. Apparently there is no winner, and they are both in charge. Go figure. John Roberts is undergoing excrutiating examination as he fights his way to the Supreme Court. For the record, he's not an idealogue, and his religion doesn't affect his judgement. I hope that's not true, and I don't understand why religion is such a scarlet letter on Capitol Hill. Ex-Execs from Tyco just got a maximum of 25 years in prison for stealing money from their company. In response to Apple's new iTunes cell phone, Real Networks will be providing streaming audio for Sprint. All of our handheld devices are beginning to merge. If they can put it all on a wristwatch, then I will make my purchase. Denver squeaked out a win over the Chargers last night thanks to a little spark from Champ Bailey. Dr Maria Siemionow wants to attempt a face transplant, and is looking for volunteers. If it goes wrong you're new face could turn black. Sure it'd be a shock to your family, but you'll always have an available career in rap music. On top of curing AIDS, cancer, and bringing Christopher Reeve back from the dead, it looks like stem cells can now cure spinal cord injuries. We're headed back to the moon. We should get there in about 12 years, fully equipped to set up a permanent base. That way we could harvest moon rocks and sell them as souveniers for about $12 billion dollars apiece. We'd only have to sell a few to recover the $104 Billion it takes for us to get up there. It seems like it was alot cheaper last time. We've come a long way. Schools have made way for swingers clubs. NASCAR drivers are being fined for crashing, and it takes alot more money to fly to the moon than it used to. I don't know who they are planning on finding to pilot the shuttle, but I'm pretty sure it's not this guy.

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