Thursday, September 22, 2005
Another day, another evacuation of the entire southern coast. Hurricane Rita is about to hit Texas. I think its at a cat 4 or 5, but I'm not sure. Devastating hurricane A.D.D. prevents me from knowing these kinds of details. My heart goes out to all of those displaced by these storms. All of you in Texas can feel free to move here to California. We are sort of lacking in your conservative style voting base, and we have great weather all the time. Earthquakes? What Earthquakes? You might experience a few small tremors, but I've lived here all of my life and I've never been thrown out of my bed by an earthquake. Just find a spot away from the San Andreas fault to settle down. As far as those of you in New Orleans, I don't feel sorry for you this time. Anyone with any sense at this point should be able to recognize the perils of living in a live lakebed, and find some higher ground to build their homes on. Preferably above sea level. Your President sees it differently however, but at least he has enough sense to wait for the storms to stop before urging you all to move back in. Here in Fresno, CA we've opened our doors up to Kat Victims, you're welcome to settle down in a safer neighborhood. For the record, I've never had to endure a citywide evacuation, nor have I had my house dismantled by a rainstorm. A rainstorm for us is a drizzle accompanied by occasional lightning bolts.