Tuesday, November 16, 2004


My Screen Door Theory

Why is it that education seems to make people more Liberal? Do the educated know something that the rest of the populace doesn't? Obviously they do, because they are educated, which would leave some to believe that Conservatives are the ignorant ones. This didn't make sense to me, because it's clear that Liberals are so wrong, so often. So what's the deal? Here it is as I see it. When you go for your higher education, you are taught to have an open mind. You learn to reason the other side of a debate, and realize that nothing is black and white. It's all relative. Now, I'm all for opening the door to my mind, but I do make sure that the screen door is shut at all times. This special door filters out all of the bogus nonesense that is being fed to us everyday, especially in settings where we are prepared to be enlightened. This door is constructed out of heavy duty morality, and extra-strength common sense, and keeps my open mind from being infested with wild ideas that don't make any sense. Those who recieve higher education, unfortunately, think that achieving a higher education means opening both doors to your mind, and abondoning things like common sense and morality. This is why uneducated conservatives scratch their heads as those who have spent so much money on their college education seem to have taken a step backwards, questioning what is and isn't a sexual organ, whether it's right or wrong to kill babies, etc. These modern-day sophists may have gotten a pricy education, but as Socrates puts it: Immorality equals Ignorance.

Here is a good example of this screen door theory. Over the weekend I got into a debate with a friend of mine after he said that "Terrorism isn't always wrong." I couldn't believe it. Now, he doesn't support terrorism, and he could not cite one example in history where this is the case. All he had was a hypothetical situation involving a hospital, and some vague circumstances. He said the bottom line is that it isn't black and white, and we have to keep an open mind. It's Terrorism! I'd like to think that if we could agree on anything being black and white, it'd be terrorism! But alas, upon the death of Yasser Arafat we have had world leaders, and left wingers praising him has a peacemaker, and a good leader. He was a terrorist, people. In fact he was the father of modern terrorism. What are we doing? Why are so many people in Liberal circles coming out in support for the Palestinians who use car bombs, and strap bombs around their chests to explode them on busses? I don't think people in this country support terrorist attacks on innocent people. It just looks that way to the rest of us, who have our screen doors firmly in place. We can have an open mind about terrorism. We can learn how terrorists operate, what makes them tick, why they want to blow themselves up, etc. But as soon as we start sympathizing with them, it's over. So next time you see some pea-brained liberal on TV preaching the virtues of having an open mind about anything and everything, remember that there are two doors to your mind. One should stay open to let the rain of knowledge flood your mind. The other should stay closed, to keep all the junk out. Wow, I wrote way too much about this. Normally I'd feel like inserting a sarcastic remark about Simon and Scheuster, and publishing rights, but this post is way too long already.

I dropped out of grad school once already because I felt like I was becoming stupider. Basically I couldn't stand thinking about the things those stuck up b@$#@%&$ thought about all day. The thing is, they suffer from intellectual elitism. They believe that because of their education they "chosen" in some capacity to "lead" and enlighten us mere peasents. They believe that because of their educational level, they can solve everyone's problems for them, and everyone should listen to them because they are the intellectually elite. I am, of course, a poor slovenly fool who voted for Bush. I am obviously too stupid to run my own life or have a hand in running my nation, because if I were but educated, certainly I would see things their way. Any trickery or deception they partake in is because we are too stupid to follow their obviously superior lead. I'm going to try to get my masters online next fall, in the hopes that I won't have to actually talk to students or professors in order to finish my education. I work at a university--I know just how shallow and petty and "me me me" the professors and students are. Everyone should bow before them because they are intellectually superior. < /rant> my apologies for the rant.
I know it's frustrating, but they can't really help it. They do not have the benifit of a solid screen door to keep their feet on the ground, and so they don't realize what they've become. Once you understand these people, your hate begins to morph into pity, and you just hope that they make as few decisions concerning the country as possible.
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